Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
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SadJester
Takumi of the Wind
Bryan Dacote
7 posters
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Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
I know it maybe dumb in its way but I realized its been a year since well... stuff happened between me and my ex. Now there's been other girls since her I liked and was close to being boyfriend/girlfriend with. I'm still on good terms with them. I still talk to them. We're still great friends. But there's just that one I hate SOOOO MUCH! I haven't felt hate like this for a single person in a loooooooong time! Knowing I was used and led along for so long and that I knew it even then but I chose to ignore like a dumb ass because I hoped in my heart that wasn't the case.
I'm glad I kicked her out of my life. I haven't seen her around town in nearly 2 months now. (consider we live around the corner from each other and our jobs are next door to one another so that alone is amazing)
I know in time; I'll forget about her. I know in time someone 100 times better will come along and I won't need to remember that
But what about you people? Did something bad happen between you and an ex that was so bad you still can not forgive them? Or are you still on good terms? Possibly even friends still?
I'm glad I kicked her out of my life. I haven't seen her around town in nearly 2 months now. (consider we live around the corner from each other and our jobs are next door to one another so that alone is amazing)
I know in time; I'll forget about her. I know in time someone 100 times better will come along and I won't need to remember that
- VERY HARSH WORDS! Reader discretion is advised!:
But what about you people? Did something bad happen between you and an ex that was so bad you still can not forgive them? Or are you still on good terms? Possibly even friends still?
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
She fell in a coma for a few days after a failed attempt at suicide and neglected to tell me when she woke up, leaving me to believe that she'd died for almost 4 years.
Soo... no. I do not fancy her existence.
Soo... no. I do not fancy her existence.
Guest- Guest
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Yes and no. Some of them yes, some of them no.
One of my exes has been feeding me mixed signals for the past half year or so, and it's getting annoying. We dated back in High School and she cheated on me a couple of times out of naivety. Then she broke up with me once it all came out and I got mad at her for it. But over the years, I got over that. We became friends again after starting to talk, and we both apologized to each other for being assholes. We are now very good friends, and I am best friends with the guy she was dating when we started being friends again. That being said, I will never truly forgive her for what she did to me, especially because as a Demisexual I am more than loyal to a person that I am with, so things like that cut VERY deeply. But I may have to confront her again about these mixed signals she's giving me (she gives them to people she is interested in, and I've known her long enough to recognize the patterns). That ship has sailed, haha.
It honestly depends on what happens, and how both parties handle it. I don't mind remaining friends, particularly when a breakup is mutual. It usually goes terribly wrong and friendships are off limits if there is not valid closure or I'm incredibly disrespected.
Of course, I don't really date much anymore, so I might not be able to tell how my future relationships would be. ^^;
One of my exes has been feeding me mixed signals for the past half year or so, and it's getting annoying. We dated back in High School and she cheated on me a couple of times out of naivety. Then she broke up with me once it all came out and I got mad at her for it. But over the years, I got over that. We became friends again after starting to talk, and we both apologized to each other for being assholes. We are now very good friends, and I am best friends with the guy she was dating when we started being friends again. That being said, I will never truly forgive her for what she did to me, especially because as a Demisexual I am more than loyal to a person that I am with, so things like that cut VERY deeply. But I may have to confront her again about these mixed signals she's giving me (she gives them to people she is interested in, and I've known her long enough to recognize the patterns). That ship has sailed, haha.
It honestly depends on what happens, and how both parties handle it. I don't mind remaining friends, particularly when a breakup is mutual. It usually goes terribly wrong and friendships are off limits if there is not valid closure or I'm incredibly disrespected.
Of course, I don't really date much anymore, so I might not be able to tell how my future relationships would be. ^^;
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
I'll get back to you when I have an ex-girlfriend, or a girlfriend for that matter The words it's better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all ring very true. No matter how bad the relationship was it's still better than a nonexistent one (except in the case of abusive relationnships etc.).
SadJester- LEVEL 20
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Age : 33
Location : Cape Town, South Africa
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Meh I'm not sure if I agree with that or not Jester.
Yeah I've loved, experienced my first kiss, experienced well... sex a few times with that one person but when I look back I realize she never loved me back despite how much I had my heart out for her. She just used it for her own selfish gain. So I guess I've lost it too.
So yeah I guess its true since I'm glad I now have that experience so I know how NOT to be walked over again by "people" like her.
But I don't think still waiting for that first love is much worse or better. Consider it wasn't even a year and a half ago I met that "person" and at that time I was desperate so I know how guys like you feel. Maybe I'm just pessimistic because I had such a painful experience rather than a pleasant one.
Yeah I've loved, experienced my first kiss, experienced well... sex a few times with that one person but when I look back I realize she never loved me back despite how much I had my heart out for her. She just used it for her own selfish gain. So I guess I've lost it too.
So yeah I guess its true since I'm glad I now have that experience so I know how NOT to be walked over again by "people" like her.
But I don't think still waiting for that first love is much worse or better. Consider it wasn't even a year and a half ago I met that "person" and at that time I was desperate so I know how guys like you feel. Maybe I'm just pessimistic because I had such a painful experience rather than a pleasant one.
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Hate the one. She can go die for all I care.
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Yes, one probably desires something more strongly if you've never had it yourself. I'm not that interested in the physical side of love at the moment. I just want to be in a relationship where we understand and love each other unconditionally. Hopefully not too much to ask. I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience though, Bryan.
SadJester- LEVEL 20
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Age : 33
Location : Cape Town, South Africa
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
That's all I want too, man. Sure physical attraction is great. Its always a plus but I know it ain't everything in a relationship. I am living evidence of that. My father blind in a wheelchair since birth and my mother legally deaf. Some people would be turned off to my father's physical disabilities and my dad never saw what his wife looked like so right there is proof love is something much MUCH deeper.
But I'm realizing that trying to "get" someone to love me is not happening. Love has gotta be found. Might take years for that. Might be right next door to each other all your lives or on the other side of the planet. Its out there. You just gotta be true to yourself and honest but be bold too. You gotta get out there at least a little so you CAN be noticed; not this being shy and hoping senpai notices you crap. That only happens in anime. Also be confident. Whether it be at work or just talking to someone. Be confident in your abilities.
Oh and don't desperately look for love and act like you need it for survival. Love will come around one day.
But I'm realizing that trying to "get" someone to love me is not happening. Love has gotta be found. Might take years for that. Might be right next door to each other all your lives or on the other side of the planet. Its out there. You just gotta be true to yourself and honest but be bold too. You gotta get out there at least a little so you CAN be noticed; not this being shy and hoping senpai notices you crap. That only happens in anime. Also be confident. Whether it be at work or just talking to someone. Be confident in your abilities.
Oh and don't desperately look for love and act like you need it for survival. Love will come around one day.
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
hate.... my only x was a really bad relationship for me to be in.... it was a pure poisonous relationship.....
MonjaElisa- Full Moderator M
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Location : Norway (Hyrule)
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
I'd have to say depends (If I am friends with that person or not) I mean I may not like my Ex but I mean its not good to wish someone to die so....yeahh
jordan_mikuza- Full Moderator J
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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
jordan_mikuza wrote:I may not like my Ex but I mean its not good to wish someone to die so....yeahh
I agree only because I'd rather they live a life of complete disapointment so they learn how much they screwed up XD
(yes I am evil)
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Well, yeah, if anything, an ex is a mistake made and a lesson learned.
Guest- Guest
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Key wrote:Well, yeah, if anything, an ex is a mistake made and a lesson learned.
Good point Key. If you don't make mistakes then you'll never learn.
SadJester- LEVEL 20
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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
yepSadJester wrote:Key wrote:Well, yeah, if anything, an ex is a mistake made and a lesson learned.
Good point Key. If you don't make mistakes then you'll never learn.
jordan_mikuza- Full Moderator J
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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
My first relationship (long-term, and what I can't help but comparing every other one to -.- ) ended with her wanting to try being with other people (her first relationship as well), so she wouldn't regret anything if we did end up staying together. I couldn't stand it, and after constant on/off relationship ending/getting-back-togethers, I killed our relationship by making her hate me. A haunting decision that hurts me to this day to think about, but, was necessary for her happiness and to force me away from her, completely. Otherwise, I'd never have let her go, and vice versa, I believe.
My second relationship was with someone I couldn't be with because of religious reasons (not the same one; totally on her, as I didn't care). One month after she let me down with apologies for wanting to but not being able to, she tried to make it up to me by inviting her to come with her and a guy of the same religion as her to their first date. With her entire family present, as well.
What.
^: Now she's married to some dufus xD haha! Dodged a bullet! But, we talk every blue moon, and we're on good terms.
My third relationship, was with a childhood friend, who used to play stupid mind games with me that i never realized until I was older. Then she wanted to be in a relationship with me, for more mind game reasons and such. She's crazy, and not in my kind of way xP
She broke up with me because of "family" issues, but really so that she could go out with her tattoo artist. Now she's super overweight, works at a Dollar store, and is all alone again. No regrets on my mind, I didn't care about her, really; she was a crutch from the sting of my last 2 heart-aches.
My present interest is someone I've known for about 5 years. She's fantastic in every way, shape, and form. We click with interests, likes, dislikes, and worldly beliefs. the only real issue is that we're just friends, and I respect her too much to try anything. I've literally been there for her, as a friend and coworker for all this time, and I'm happy just to spend time with her, hanging out, and being friends. If being her friend means securely having her in my life for years, rather than losing her altogether, as I'm afraid trying to pursue anything romantic with her would invoke, then I'm glad to just keep things as they are and keep her around She's absolutely brilliant.
All said, I'd rather have a few extremely close relationships, than have a lot of purely social relationships.
One extremely close relationship that lasts a lifetime, is filled with love and romance, happiness, and unwavering commitment and loyalty would be amazing...
...Yeah. I'll be alone forever at this point xD haha!
My second relationship was with someone I couldn't be with because of religious reasons (not the same one; totally on her, as I didn't care). One month after she let me down with apologies for wanting to but not being able to, she tried to make it up to me by inviting her to come with her and a guy of the same religion as her to their first date. With her entire family present, as well.
What.
^: Now she's married to some dufus xD haha! Dodged a bullet! But, we talk every blue moon, and we're on good terms.
My third relationship, was with a childhood friend, who used to play stupid mind games with me that i never realized until I was older. Then she wanted to be in a relationship with me, for more mind game reasons and such. She's crazy, and not in my kind of way xP
She broke up with me because of "family" issues, but really so that she could go out with her tattoo artist. Now she's super overweight, works at a Dollar store, and is all alone again. No regrets on my mind, I didn't care about her, really; she was a crutch from the sting of my last 2 heart-aches.
My present interest is someone I've known for about 5 years. She's fantastic in every way, shape, and form. We click with interests, likes, dislikes, and worldly beliefs. the only real issue is that we're just friends, and I respect her too much to try anything. I've literally been there for her, as a friend and coworker for all this time, and I'm happy just to spend time with her, hanging out, and being friends. If being her friend means securely having her in my life for years, rather than losing her altogether, as I'm afraid trying to pursue anything romantic with her would invoke, then I'm glad to just keep things as they are and keep her around She's absolutely brilliant.
All said, I'd rather have a few extremely close relationships, than have a lot of purely social relationships.
One extremely close relationship that lasts a lifetime, is filled with love and romance, happiness, and unwavering commitment and loyalty would be amazing...
...Yeah. I'll be alone forever at this point xD haha!
gwidhw- Full Moderator
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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
One extremely close relationship that lasts a lifetime, is filled with love and romance, happiness, and unwavering commitment and loyalty would be amazing...
^
THIS
^
THIS
jordan_mikuza- Full Moderator J
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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Any kind of relationship is fine at this point. I'm not choosy, lol
SadJester- LEVEL 20
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Location : Cape Town, South Africa
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
SadJester wrote:Any kind of relationship is fine at this point. I'm not choosy, lol
Believe me; you don't want "any kind of relationship". Just no. That ex I had? She drove me to insanity. No. Just no. You don't want that. The Ninth circle of Hell can not compare to the Hell a human being can do to your mind, heart and soul.
There is relationships out there (such as Monja's) that a decent human being should never go through. Its like a money's paw: be careful what you wish for.
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
this is trueBryan Dacote wrote:SadJester wrote:Any kind of relationship is fine at this point. I'm not choosy, lol
Believe me; you don't want "any kind of relationship". Just no. That ex I had? She drove me to insanity. No. Just no. You don't want that. The Ninth circle of Hell can not compare to the Hell a human being can do to your mind, heart and soul.
There is relationships out there (such as Monja's) that a decent human being should never go through. Its like a money's paw: be careful what you wish for.
though i wish we would not have to be choosy about relationships because then it just leads to people being paranoid they are going to be hurt and it will be hard to let go of that paranoia (for me it is)
jordan_mikuza- Full Moderator J
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Age : 24
Location : NC,United States
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
I'm definitely not choosy about relationships. I'm open to anything. It's probably because I've never been hurt so I'm totally naive in that department.
The fact that I'm at heart a romantic probably has something to do with my desperate need for a relationship. In essence a deep emotional need.
The anxiety that comes with never having had a relationship in the first place is punishing too though. Doubting if there even is someone that would be romantically interested in you because thus far there hasn't been evidence to the contrary.
The fact that I'm at heart a romantic probably has something to do with my desperate need for a relationship. In essence a deep emotional need.
The anxiety that comes with never having had a relationship in the first place is punishing too though. Doubting if there even is someone that would be romantically interested in you because thus far there hasn't been evidence to the contrary.
SadJester- LEVEL 20
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Age : 33
Location : Cape Town, South Africa
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
SadJester wrote:I'm definitely not choosy about relationships. I'm open to anything. It's probably because I've never been hurt so I'm totally naive in that department.
The fact that I'm at heart a romantic probably has something to do with my desperate need for a relationship. In essence a deep emotional need.
The anxiety that comes with never having had a relationship in the first place is punishing too though. Doubting if there even is someone that would be romantically interested in you because thus far there hasn't been evidence to the contrary.
I know how you feel man. How how I do. That's why when I went though that "relationship" with that one bitch I was so desperate and clingy because I was convinced no one on this planet liked me. I was at a point where I was figurively drowning myself in my lonliness. I thought that I wouldn't be able to get anywhere in life unless I had a girlfriend.
I may hate that bitch and curse her name but that experience opened my naive eyes.
But here is a touch of something I wrote back in 2012 when one of my lonely depression episodes were at their peak. (hidden with spoiler warning since its quite long)
- Lonliness' Foe:
- Is this rational thinking or madness? Is this a dream or reality, and if it's a dream is it a nightmare? Is this desperation or obsession? Is this a crush or is it love? Right now I can't tell or make sure of anything. Everything seems so blurry and nothing seems to be getting clear. The world feels fake, false and dream like, but I can't wake up or find a meaning to this. My heart is racing faster than a formula race car on the fastest track in the world. My train of thought is now a bullet train that has its brakes broken and on a loop; my brain aches from the speed of it all. My body pulses hard and loud from the beating within my chest and I'm overly conscious of it. My thoughts go to recent days and weeks and I try to find a meaning or an answer; hell a hint would suffice! I reach out a hand asking for aid or a soul to talk to, to let this all out.
These words hit deep but they don't go far enough to sooth. A mortal human must reach my heart and calm it for it is out of the pathetic limit of my weak powers to conquer. With all my rationality, logic, deductions, theories, predictions and even premonitions the answers elude me like a boy trying to touch his shadow that lay upon the broken cement ground of the street he's always known. I can remember lying on the soft grass of days gone by and wondering what shall the future hold for me as my childish mind wandered amongst the peaceful clouds and blue sky above. These ignored questions and unreachable answers mock me and slap me in the face as the loneliness I have battled for as long as I can remember creeps once more upon me; its prey. I once more reach out a hand begging any caring soul I know to rid me of the predator that stalks me but none reach back.
So I go back to battling the demon that torments me as my mind wanders to a dream I've always had: a young woman about my age sitting beside me as I lay upon my couch. She places a hand upon my cheek and leans close telling me it's going to be okay and that she'll never let loneliness claim me ever again. I feel a tear roll down my opposite cheek that is open to the bitterness of that demon; I know whose tear it belongs to; mine. I feel my face begin to recoil into mad wails as I lunge forth at the girl, embracing her hard. Not out of an attack but in desperation so that she can rid me of the monster. I open my eyes to once more realize that this is nothing more than a wishful dream that plagues me whenever loneliness does. Perhaps it is the monster's way of tormenting me further into the corner that has become a second home within my imagination.
I try to remedy this by talking to friends, because family gives no comfort to me; just stress and complications. The world is a harsh one but I have learned that the only thing that is both worse and more comforting than it; is the human imagination; namely mine.
I shall continue to battle my loneliness. I know that neither side will back down within me, but let it be known: I am raging war upon sadness for it is my enemy. Sadness gets me nothing but sympathy; and sympathy is usually a facade for sincerity. Sincerity should be dealt truthfully, not in half-truths.
With this in my heart and my head loneliness shall not conquer me. For as of now on the prey has become the predator. Sadness shall be damned for I will prey upon it not it upon me.
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
thats nice bryan I have actually done that before as well when its gotten horrible (though I deleted it so no one would know but, I also did it for a poem my teacher had us write and I shared it with the class)Bryan Dacote wrote:SadJester wrote:I'm definitely not choosy about relationships. I'm open to anything. It's probably because I've never been hurt so I'm totally naive in that department.
The fact that I'm at heart a romantic probably has something to do with my desperate need for a relationship. In essence a deep emotional need.
The anxiety that comes with never having had a relationship in the first place is punishing too though. Doubting if there even is someone that would be romantically interested in you because thus far there hasn't been evidence to the contrary.
I know how you feel man. How how I do. That's why when I went though that "relationship" with that one bitch I was so desperate and clingy because I was convinced no one on this planet liked me. I was at a point where I was figurively drowning myself in my lonliness. I thought that I wouldn't be able to get anywhere in life unless I had a girlfriend.
I may hate that bitch and curse her name but that experience opened my naive eyes.
But here is a touch of something I wrote back in 2012 when one of my lonely depression episodes were at their peak. (hidden with spoiler warning since its quite long)
- Lonliness' Foe:
Is this rational thinking or madness? Is this a dream or reality, and if it's a dream is it a nightmare? Is this desperation or obsession? Is this a crush or is it love? Right now I can't tell or make sure of anything. Everything seems so blurry and nothing seems to be getting clear. The world feels fake, false and dream like, but I can't wake up or find a meaning to this. My heart is racing faster than a formula race car on the fastest track in the world. My train of thought is now a bullet train that has its brakes broken and on a loop; my brain aches from the speed of it all. My body pulses hard and loud from the beating within my chest and I'm overly conscious of it. My thoughts go to recent days and weeks and I try to find a meaning or an answer; hell a hint would suffice! I reach out a hand asking for aid or a soul to talk to, to let this all out.
These words hit deep but they don't go far enough to sooth. A mortal human must reach my heart and calm it for it is out of the pathetic limit of my weak powers to conquer. With all my rationality, logic, deductions, theories, predictions and even premonitions the answers elude me like a boy trying to touch his shadow that lay upon the broken cement ground of the street he's always known. I can remember lying on the soft grass of days gone by and wondering what shall the future hold for me as my childish mind wandered amongst the peaceful clouds and blue sky above. These ignored questions and unreachable answers mock me and slap me in the face as the loneliness I have battled for as long as I can remember creeps once more upon me; its prey. I once more reach out a hand begging any caring soul I know to rid me of the predator that stalks me but none reach back.
So I go back to battling the demon that torments me as my mind wanders to a dream I've always had: a young woman about my age sitting beside me as I lay upon my couch. She places a hand upon my cheek and leans close telling me it's going to be okay and that she'll never let loneliness claim me ever again. I feel a tear roll down my opposite cheek that is open to the bitterness of that demon; I know whose tear it belongs to; mine. I feel my face begin to recoil into mad wails as I lunge forth at the girl, embracing her hard. Not out of an attack but in desperation so that she can rid me of the monster. I open my eyes to once more realize that this is nothing more than a wishful dream that plagues me whenever loneliness does. Perhaps it is the monster's way of tormenting me further into the corner that has become a second home within my imagination.
I try to remedy this by talking to friends, because family gives no comfort to me; just stress and complications. The world is a harsh one but I have learned that the only thing that is both worse and more comforting than it; is the human imagination; namely mine.
I shall continue to battle my loneliness. I know that neither side will back down within me, but let it be known: I am raging war upon sadness for it is my enemy. Sadness gets me nothing but sympathy; and sympathy is usually a facade for sincerity. Sincerity should be dealt truthfully, not in half-truths.
With this in my heart and my head loneliness shall not conquer me. For as of now on the prey has become the predator. Sadness shall be damned for I will prey upon it not it upon me.
but anyways the key is no matter how lonely you are just fight it; do your best and just live. See where life takes you and who knows maybe something good will happen
jordan_mikuza- Full Moderator J
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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Thank you guys for your candid and kind statements. Also thank you for sharing something of your own lives in an effort to help me.
I've also written some stuff so as to deal with the loneliness. It's probably the normal human response when dealing with adversity one wants a recourse, an outlet valve. It's quite depressing to see one's peers and classmates getting married left and right while you are yet to have any romantic relationship. There's no guarantee that those marriages would be happy of course but it still makes for a stark contrast to one's own life.
I've also written some stuff so as to deal with the loneliness. It's probably the normal human response when dealing with adversity one wants a recourse, an outlet valve. It's quite depressing to see one's peers and classmates getting married left and right while you are yet to have any romantic relationship. There's no guarantee that those marriages would be happy of course but it still makes for a stark contrast to one's own life.
SadJester- LEVEL 20
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Age : 33
Location : Cape Town, South Africa
Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
yeah I guess it is the normal human response to itSadJester wrote:Thank you guys for your candid and kind statements. Also thank you for sharing something of your own lives in an effort to help me.
I've also written some stuff so as to deal with the loneliness. It's probably the normal human response when dealing with adversity one wants a recourse, an outlet valve. It's quite depressing to see one's peers and classmates getting married left and right while you are yet to have any romantic relationship. There's no guarantee that those marriages would be happy of course but it still makes for a stark contrast to one's own life.
I mean I guess it just helps people to put it in to words
jordan_mikuza- Full Moderator J
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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?
Although it is soppy, I think this song summarizes the situation
SadJester- LEVEL 20
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Location : Cape Town, South Africa
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