Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?

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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?

Post by Guest on Tue Jul 07, 2015 11:23 pm

This is old, but hey I will bite,

I haven't disliked a single one of my exes for breaking up with me. My main reason is that relationships are far too bogged down by other factors now and days, most issues that occur in relationships whilst personal, are also due to rushing in, trying to maintain standards, and more or less defining the relationship to name a few. Disliking somebody for things that are happening regardless of choice isn't going to solve anything, its simply a emotional detour that we all like to take,

It doesn't help that our whole perception of what a successful relationship is far far off from any factual matter.

Fun Fact I always say this but its needed definitely, those who are able to maintain connections throughout their whole lifes have higher activity in the ventral tegmental area of their brain,
But back to this though,
I think of relationships as a means to grow and foster different ideas that I normally wouldn't think about as well, also it allows somebody to get close to me and if healthy allow me to see things from different sides.

Even when the relationship breaks apart its still a growth as long as you take the necessary steps that is.
Long term relationships are far too expected thanks to many factors.

Whilst its nice to have somebody for life in a relationship it should not be expected, especially for anybody in the 18 to early 20 range >_>.

X

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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?

Post by SadJester on Wed Jul 08, 2015 10:10 am

I guess what is expected is a romantic relationship of any form in the 18-25 age bracket. As you say-people that meet their soul mates early are probably in the minority. People that have been in no romantic relationship in the age group are probably also in the minority because of a number of factors.

The ventral tegmental area of the brain receives information to ascertain if the human needs are being met, right? The fact that the person is in a long relationship could be the cause of the increased activity and not a result of it.
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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 08, 2015 3:12 pm

Actually Sadjester its a result of it somewhat,

http://scan.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2011/01/05/scan.nsq092.full

I have other citation as needed.

But will explain,

VTA is part of the dopamine rich segments of the brain, also the rewards system and motivation area as well.

It has shown those with higher activity in this area have similar activity in a long relationship to those of first fallen in love. The reason why is due to how the activity works in that area.

The rewards systems makes the relationship more viable long term if it is more active.


Here let me show you a image taken from a study,
The one on the left is scans taken on couples that just were started whilst the on the right is from couples who have been together a long time. The right one is of those who have been happily together for a long time. There is a notable difference as well between those who have broken up in relationships too.
I will go in depth if the need arises on how the smaller functions occur here to create that viability.


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Re: Do you hate your exs or are you on good terms with them?

Post by SadJester on Thu Jul 09, 2015 9:36 am

Thanks for the information Colress. It's always interesting to learn more about the human brain and how the intricacies of it impacts human relationships. The person that is single probably has even less activity in that area of the brain than the couple just starting. A microscopic speck Wink
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