Self harm...?

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Self harm...?

Post by Raven on Mon Apr 20, 2015 6:01 pm

Does anyone have a past of it? I need to feel better.. you know?
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Sherflow on Mon Apr 20, 2015 6:21 pm

Self Harm was common in my youth, I attempted in the past but internal struggles and conflict stopped me from harming myself and since then I've always thought "It won't help", I know how addicting self harm can be, many friends and even family of mine have suffered from in varying degrees of severity.

I don't know how to make you feel better or give you any advice without sounding... patronizing or insincere,

All I can say is, when you get to that moment or level where you hit rock bottom and you'd wish to inflict harm on yourself... say or think to yourself "I'm stronger than this, this is weak, I am not" or something along those lines. It worked for me... I'm sorry I can't help you more.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Bryan Dacote on Mon Apr 20, 2015 6:31 pm

Sort of. My mother used to try commiting suicide long before I was born. And when I was young and being abused by ann asshole who lived with us she was having words like hate, die and pain into herself.

As for me there was only one time I was very close to trying. One little fact about me is that I was seeing a real whore around town - I was too ignorant to face the facts at the time because I was so deeply head over heels in love. Despite knowing she was seeing her ex as well as me we had sex. Later that day after I got out of work I happened to walk into the McDonald's he worked in. I saw him. I didn't talk to him, I just got my food and left asap. It was late (like 10 PM) and I was crossing the street when I saw a truck coming my way. I nearly stopped in my tracks to let it hit me and kill me. But fear overcame me and I ran even faster across the street. I was in tears for the rest of the night and depressed for days because I knew what I did was wrong and it was against my morals.

I decided to live because I figured I could better myself. And I have. I knew the pain would end in time. I'm not proud of what I did, but the pain is gone. It subsided.

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Re: Self harm...?

Post by jordan_mikuza on Mon Apr 20, 2015 7:46 pm

...*hugs all three of you*
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Bryan Dacote on Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:33 pm

*hugs back*

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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Raven on Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:37 pm

*hugs all of you guys until you fart bubblecum... yes... bubblecum (;... *hugs*....

I wrote a really long paragraph about my first self harm experience, but I fucked up and all of it got erased lol. I've been clean for 4 months(December). I can't say I'm happy, but I'm steadily stable. The deep cuts on my arms show what I've been through.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by jordan_mikuza on Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:39 pm

Sherflow wrote:Self Harm was common in my youth, I attempted in the past but internal struggles and conflict stopped me from harming myself and since then I've always thought "It won't help", I know how addicting self harm can be, many friends and even family of mine have suffered from in varying degrees of severity.

I don't know how to make you feel better or give you any advice without sounding... patronizing or insincere,

All I can say is, when you get to that moment or level where you hit rock bottom and you'd wish to inflict harm on yourself... say or think to yourself "I'm stronger than this, this is weak, I am not" or something along those lines. It worked for me... I'm sorry I can't help you more.    
that's the same with me I've been like that at times when I've actually picked up a knife but I put it back down because I was afraid of the pain and I also knew it wouldn't really help it would just cause an even bigger fuss
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Raven on Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:47 pm

jordan_mikuza wrote:
Sherflow wrote:Self Harm was common in my youth, I attempted in the past but internal struggles and conflict stopped me from harming myself and since then I've always thought "It won't help", I know how addicting self harm can be, many friends and even family of mine have suffered from in varying degrees of severity.

I don't know how to make you feel better or give you any advice without sounding... patronizing or insincere,

All I can say is, when you get to that moment or level where you hit rock bottom and you'd wish to inflict harm on yourself... say or think to yourself "I'm stronger than this, this is weak, I am not" or something along those lines. It worked for me... I'm sorry I can't help you more.    
that's the same with me I've been like that at times when I've actually picked up a knife but I put it back down because I was afraid of the pain and I also knew it wouldn't really help it would just cause an even bigger fuss

You really do lose your sanity when you take a blade to your skin. I did, and I thought I was perfectly fine until I became a habit and I really started to love it. And the sad thing is I still do.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by disfox on Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:54 pm

Having watched friends self harm for because that was what they where able to controle.
I'm going be the tough love here. No one here can make you feel better. No one here well be your saving grace,
Your superhero that's going to save you is well you.
Find that nitch, grab onto it and go falcon punch life in the face. Give it the finger and strut your proud self off!
You deserve happiness! ,but also remember talking can do a lot for yea. Now what friends can help with is venting and reasuring help yea put on that cape and become your own greatest hero..

Stay strong but most importantly stay you.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by jordan_mikuza on Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:57 pm

disfox wrote:Having watched friends self harm for because that was what they where able to controle.
I'm going be the tough love here. No one here can make you feel better. No one here well be your saving grace,
Your superhero that's going to save you is well you.
Find that nitch, grab onto it and go falcon punch life in the face. Give it the finger and strut your proud self off!
You deserve happiness! ,but also remember talking can do a lot for yea. Now what friends can help with is venting and reasuring help yea put on that cape and become your own greatest hero..

Stay strong but most importantly stay you.
so true and I'm going to add to that...
DONT HARM YOURSELVES cause you are not worth that pain no one is worth going throw that pain unless they are a total jerk
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by gwidhw on Thu Apr 23, 2015 4:26 am

...As a psych major, and a person who won't condone self-harm (hypocritically), for those that don't know, there are extremely short-term benefits to it. Again, I'm not condoning it, I'm just giving info.

It's a coping mechanism, and most people that do self-harm aren't looking for attention, or want to die, necessarily, but rather want to express and alleviate pain. Chemical release occurs in the instance, as a reaction, temporarily providing a "positive" feeling, which can make people feel more inclined to cut, for example, because they feel it will inherently make them feel better (not going into details here). Again, this is extremely short term, and is in no way a substitute for getting help. I just wanted to be a bit informative for those who may not understand why some might do it.

As someone who has engaged in self-harm in the past, it's not worth it, and there are far better coping strategies available. As hard as it can be, and as isolated as depression can make the best of us, even when you don't want to be around people, that's really what can make all the difference in helping you avoid self-harm, and feel better, faster.

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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Guest on Thu Apr 23, 2015 5:31 am

There was only one occasion in which I ever felt like killing myself, I was lucky, and someone prevented me from going through with it. Looking back I'm glad it never happened...

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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Lee Seung Gi on Thu Apr 23, 2015 5:44 am

To everyone:

It's going to get better.
It's worth it. The sunsets and heartbreaks and coffee at 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning, the almost kisses, the stranger who you caught looking at you on the subway, the penny on the sidewalk, and the scars that itch as they heal, and the neighbor's cat that always ends up in your backyard.
Okay? You don't have to be okay. Just keep holding on. You've done that so far and look what strength that has taken. You've been through more shit than anyone deserves, but you're still standing despite it all.
You're worth it.
I don't know if this will mean anything, but I just was randomly overwhelmed with how much I love all of you guys on here and how utterly amazing you all are and I somehow had to try and express that.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by jordan_mikuza on Thu Apr 23, 2015 5:50 am

gwidhw wrote:...As a psych major, and a person who won't condone self-harm (hypocritically), for those that don't know, there are extremely short-term benefits to it. Again, I'm not condoning it, I'm just giving info.

It's a coping mechanism, and most people that do self-harm aren't looking for attention, or want to die, necessarily, but rather want to express and alleviate pain. Chemical release occurs in the instance, as a reaction, temporarily providing a "positive" feeling, which can make people feel more inclined to cut, for example, because they feel it will inherently make them feel better (not going into details here). Again, this is extremely short term, and is in no way a substitute for getting help. I just wanted to be a bit informative for those who may not understand why some might do it.

As someone who has engaged in self-harm in the past, it's not worth it, and there are far better coping strategies available. As hard as it can be, and as isolated as depression can make the best of us, even when you don't want to be around people, that's really what can make all the
difference in helping you avoid self-harm, and feel better, faster.

thank you!
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by gwidhw on Thu Apr 23, 2015 2:25 pm

Key wrote:There was only one occasion in which I ever felt like killing myself, I was lucky, and someone prevented me from going through with it. Looking back I'm glad it never happened...

The only reason I never got to the "conclusion I was looking for" was because I, thankfully, messed up and searched some things on a computer, didn't have the opportunity in the moment to clear search results, and ultimately forgot to go back and do it later. I'm so glad that it happened, looking back, and that nothing bad came of it.

...and to think, it was over a relationship xD
How silly! ...although, in the moment, she was my life, so... only in retrospect was it silly.

Lee Seung Gi wrote:To everyone:

It's going to get better.
It's worth it. The sunsets and heartbreaks and coffee at 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning, the almost kisses, the stranger who you caught looking at you on the subway, the penny on the sidewalk, and the scars that itch as they heal, and the neighbor's cat that always ends up in your backyard.
Okay? You don't have to be okay. Just keep holding on. You've done that so far and look what strength that has taken. You've been through more shit than anyone deserves, but you're still standing despite it all.
You're worth it.
I don't know if this will mean anything, but I just was randomly overwhelmed with how much I love all of you guys on here and how utterly amazing you all are and I somehow had to try and express that.

Very inspirational of you Smile

jordan_mikuza wrote:
thank you!

You're very welcome Very Happy
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Zero2 on Thu Apr 23, 2015 5:48 pm

Most I've done was hit myself in the head when I was much younger. Now the closest thing I'd do self-harm wise is slam my fist on the table.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by rinatanchu on Sat Apr 25, 2015 1:32 pm

I was diagnosed with depression at 13 and although I never really did any self-mutilation (most is just like Zero; I punched walls and hit myself but mostly out of anger) but there were many times I thought about it, curious how it would feel. What kept preventing me from things like cutting was if I started, could I stop? I've heard it can become and addiction and I already have an addictive personality.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Takumi of the Wind on Mon Apr 27, 2015 11:47 am

I've suffered with Depression and Anxiety my entire life for the most part. Most of it comes from experiences involving my very abusive family. It's a sob story, so I'll skip the details.

Anyway, I've only had a few instances of self harm, but they were in the worst ways. I'm the survivor of three attempts of suicide. I poisoned myself three times, but only grew very ill from it so it was passed off as a stomach virus/food poisoning.

I was very troubled during the time I was attempting that, and I do not regret that I survived because I feel that I am a much stronger person because of it.

The only other form of self harm I've ever enacted on myself was one time I was so angry, I took a small knife and slammed it through the palm of my hand by accident.

But overall...self harm is never okay. I always advise people that I know to talk to me, or somebody, about issues they are going through. There are always alternatives to self harm, especially when it comes to hobbies we can pour our emotions into.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Guest on Mon Apr 27, 2015 11:58 am

Funny how those things tend to be more widespread than most realize...

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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Takumi of the Wind on Mon Apr 27, 2015 1:18 pm

Key wrote:Funny how those things tend to be more widespread than most realize...

We are human beings, a species known for being highly self-sufficient, individualized, and sapient. At the cost of that, we also tend to "think highly of ourselves", so we end up feeling alone or isolated when things occur to us that are harmful to our psyche or bodies. We're not made to think immediately on the wider perspective.

But we learn to do that through social interaction, which we are bred for. And through that, we learn to be complex, vivid creatures that offer a variety of different experiences and stories.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by rinatanchu on Mon Apr 27, 2015 2:40 pm

Takumi of the Wind wrote:
Key wrote:Funny how those things tend to be more widespread than most realize...

We are human beings, a species known for being highly self-sufficient, individualized, and sapient. At the cost of that, we also tend to "think highly of ourselves", so we end up feeling alone or isolated when things occur to us that are harmful to our psyche or bodies. We're not made to think immediately on the wider perspective.

But we learn to do that through social interaction, which we are bred for. And through that, we learn to be complex, vivid creatures that offer a variety of different experiences and stories.

I believe that is very much true, what both of you say.

To add to that, because we feel alone or isolated, it is hard to look outside of all of that and see how others are suffering. Yes, some people are more privileged or blessed to not have to deal with abusive family members or partners, a bad financial situation and try to make ends meet, a physical or mental disability, racism, etc. but just because someone may have it worse than others doesn't make anyone else's problems any less valid.

We know our own problems but it is hard to also see how other people are suffering when you are focusing only on your own.

That is to say it is not wrong to try to fix or focus on your problems, but I think you shouldn't always think it is about "me me me" all the time.

That's why I think it is good to talk about these types of things, at least.
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Re: Self harm...?

Post by Takumi of the Wind on Mon Apr 27, 2015 4:51 pm

It really is. We all deal with different types of shit on different shitty levels. Some better off than others, some worse off. The only thing we can do is seek support.
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